Dear Sister Cougar: A 9/11 Birthday Tribute

A tribute to my roomamte Heather "Cougar" Perry and 9-11. PRAISE!

 

DEAR RICHARD SIMMONS

My video letter to Richard Simmons!

A Little Bit of (Non-Satanic) Craft Magic

My first pulbic appearance in NYC. PRAISE!

 See more pitchers after THE LEAP!

My First Attempt At Peach Cobbler Without Canned Peaches

Since I'm on a fixed income I had to use the fresh peaches in my backyard

 

I'm sorry but it just doesn't have that real imitation peach flavor that I love so much. :( 

My nephew Ray-Ray brought me my baby slippers from my storage shed when he was hiding from the laws!

FALLEN SOLDIER

 

I guess China doesnt make particle board chairs like they used to! 

Read my apology note after the LEAP

VEEGAN DONUTS!!!!!!!!

My cousin claims that they don't contain any animal products. How is that possible?!!? I dipped mine in bacon grease just in case!

 See more pitchers after the Leap

RIDE 'EM COWGIRL!!!!

 

SPECIAL THNAKS TO MY FOTOGRAFER FRIEND AMY BECKERMAN!

http://www.amybeckermanphotography.com/

I WAS HIS ASSISTANT HENRIETTA HATCHET-FACE!!!!

My Ex-Fiance Would Be 102 This Week!

My Engagement Photo From 1969!!!!

Jimmie would be 102 years old today if that pipe-bomb hadn't gone off early!!!!!

ME and my Idol: Dale Earnhardt! I drawed it myself!

I Can't Believe I was This Evil Clown's ASsistant!

Dear Revrend Ted Haggerty

Dear Reverend Ted Haggerty,

Just wanted to send you a note of encouragement and support while you are in rehab battling math addiction. My nephew Ray-Ray says you was arrested for doing math in the hancicapped bathroom stall at that Luby’s in Guthrie, OK with something called a “Rent-Boy.” I’ve never had a head for figures myself. Or reading for that matter.

I never knew it was a crime to do math in a public restroom. Dang Democrats! Before you know it, they’ll be outlawing all the important things that matter in life, like prayer in public schools!

Revrend, I want you to know that you are such an important figure in our community. And Popular, two! Especially with the young men in your flock. I’m sure it’s because of your yearly bible study retreat to Fire Island for young Christian men ages 18-24. I wish I had me that kind of love!

Revrend, you are in my prayers.

Yours in Christ,

Constance “Connie” Flagtwat

P. S.

Please send my best to your wife Debi-Su. She called me again at 3 am this morning wanting to buy my left-over oxy. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I sold the last pill to you.

MY FAITH IN JESUS CHRIST SAVED ME

I LOVE YOU RICHARD SIMMONS!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICHARD SIMMONS!!!!!!!

Bake Sale for the Okladrone!!!

THERE IS NOTHING LIKE MAN-ON MAN WITNESSING!!!!!

I CAN FINALLY AFFORD TO JOIN AARP AGAIN!!!!