Gay Terrorist
Group Strikes Again
Enid police say that six persons armed
with golf clubs vandalized a local mega church and terrorized a church
volunteer.
BY VANESSA MAE BRICKLE vmbrickle@okeexpress.com | Published:
June 23, 2006
ENID
— The Gay Oklahoma Liberation Front (GOLF) has claimed responsibility for
attacking an Enid mega church and terrorizing a church volunteer in the process.
The incident took place approximately 1 pm yesterday at the
Glorious Sheep of God Church on South Van Buren St. Volunteer Abstinence-Only
Educator Constance “Connie” Flagtwat, 49, was working on her latest lesson plan
Masturbation: Lending The Devil A Hand
when the attack commenced.
“I had just sat down in the rectory office about to enjoy my
delicious Velveeta casserole, recalls Ms. Flagtwat, an unmarried woman from
Flushing Falls Trailer Park. “The trick is to get the cheese sticks in the center
of the casserole to melt just right. Well, just as my mouth is watering and I’m
about to dig in, something comes crashing through the window and lands in my
Velveeta casserole.” Ms. Flagtwat holds up a pink golf ball. “And then the nightmare really began.”
Six GOLF-ers stormed the rectory demanding to speak to mega church
leader Reverend Ted Haggerty. Reverend Haggerty has stirred up a hornet’s nest
full of controversy with liberal reactionary and the pro-homosexual lobby over
his ex-gay therapy. Haggerty also has a line of ex-gay products, including
“Spray-Away-The-Gay”, which contains a special blend of sacred herbs and spices
designed to ward away homosexual demons, which is one of the most popular items
in the church gift shop. Known for his outreach in the community, Reverend
Haggerty’s Fire Island retreat for young Christian men aged 18-24 is an annual
tradition every July 4th weekend.
Ms. Flagtwat held her ground and her bible and the
terrorists eventually cut and ran. Understandably, Ms. Flagtwat is still shaken
from her encounter with home grown terrorists. “The most horrifying thing about
the attack,” admits Ms. Flagtwat, “the thing hat will haunt until the sweet day
that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ takes me away to the big Indian Casino in
the sky, is that you couldn’t tell the hens from the roosters, if you catch my
meaning.”
Authorities have set up a hotline for Homosexual Terrorist
activity. Anyone who witness an acts of gender non-conformity or blasphemous
behavior should immediately call (866) 466-4666 or their local area law
enforcement. Vigilante and militia groups of less than twenty people are urged
to not take the law into their own hands.
Since I live in Oklahoma, I am unable to tell if this is real or not...and did Ms Flagtwat allow the golfers to "play through"??
ReplyDeleteNO SEX TOYS OF THE PROPHET MUHAMMAD?
ReplyDeleteFOLSOM STREET FAIR SEX TOYS
The Baby Jesus Butt Plug, at a mere $30, is their least expensive Christian anal sex toy. Notice how Divine Interventions purposely makes blasphemous dildos mocking all major religions except Islam. It's easy to taunt people that you don't actually fear. I'll start to respect them on the day they make a Mohammed the Penetrator dildo or Anal Probe Allah.
Buddha, Mary and Jesus -- and in the foreground is either the Grim Reaper or Judas, who gets this description:
"Our Boy sold Jesus for thirty silver pieces, and we're selling him for even less! Imagine if he could fuck the Son of God what he could do to you!"
Google:
www.zombietime.com
Up Your Alley Fair — San Francisco, July 27, 2008
Folsom Street Fair — San Francisco, September 30, 2007
Up Your Alley 2008
N O T I C E
Please Read Carefully
You are about to view the zombietime report about the 2008 Up Your Alley Fair in San Francisco.
This report contains photographs and descriptions of extreme sexual behavior performed in public that some viewers may find disturbing.
Two versions of this report have been made available:
The "full" version of the report contains the complete, unedited and uncensored photographs.
The "blurred" version of the report contains photographs that have been partially blurred to obscure the more explicit components of each image.
Note that the captions remain exactly the same in both versions, and that this text is also somewhat explicit, since it describes the action in the photographs.
Take a moment to decide which version you would like to view. Please be aware that when we say "explicit" and "extreme," we are not exaggerating.
W A R N I N G
The report you are about to view of the 2008 "Up Your Alley" Fair in San Francisco contains newsworthy images of people engaged in extreme sexual behavior in public. Although these images are not intended to be pornographic, some people might regard them as such. Because of this, only adults age 18 or over may view the images on the following page. By clicking on the button below, you agree that:
• You are at least 18 years old, and are legally regarded as an adult in the jurisdiction where you reside;
• You have consented to view images that you know to be sexual in nature;
• You are not easily offended by nudity, fetishes and sexual acts, and will not later claim that you weren't sufficiently warned;
• You are freely viewing these images of your own volition having received due notice.
Up Your Alley Fair
San Francisco, July 27, 2008